Bandicoot Farm
by yeecat
Summary: bandicoots should not lead a farm


ok so this I made a joke to somebody on Scratch that if I lived on Animal farm I would kick out the pigs and put the bandicoots in charge

I wrote this in like ten minutes you can tell golly gee

so here we go

Once upon a time there was farm go read Animal Farm then come back so you'll understand

A person named Me was walking around and saw Animal Farm. She saw there were pigs ordering other animals around.

"Well that can't be good," she said.

A pig came over. "YO HUMAN WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Watching you," Me answered.

"Oh." The pig paused. "Well that's alright."

"Why are you bossing around all those other animals?" Me asked.

"because somebody has to," the pig replied.

"Well not you anymore." Me grabbed the pig and threw him off the face of the earth.

The other pigs watched Me throw the first pig.

"You're next," Me told them.

"Yeah that isn't happening." One of the pigs said.

"I'm not letting a human touch me!" exclaimed another, looking disgusted.

"Squealer that sounds weird," the second pig told him.

Squealer attempted to flip him off but failed as he does not have fingers, and because of that, does not have a middle finger to stick up.

And so, because the pigs did not want Me to throw them off the face of the earth, they proceeded to throw themselves off the face of the earth.

"We're free!" cheered an elderly mare. "Finally!"

"Actually you aren't," Me said.

"Yeah that's what I expected," grumbled an old donkey.

"These bandicoots are your rulers," Me tossed a bunch of bandicoots into the farm.

"Well I did not expect that," the donkey said.

"ALL HAIL THE LORD AND SAVIOR!" Me hollered.

"Oh finally we're talking about religion junk," a raven said. "Here I can take care of that I literally represent a church and-"

Me threw the raven off the face of the earth.

"The lord and savior is Hairy Larry the bandicoot," Me announced.

A very hairy bandicoot came up. It seemed to the animals that the bandicoot was actually a lump of hair, for no face or features was visible in the fur, and when a strong breeze blew up, it was thrown off the face of the earth.

"The lord and savior is Bob the Bandicoot," Me announced without missing a beat.

Another bandicoot came up.

"Y'all are gonna work fer me," he said in a very heavy and clearly fake Southern accent.

"And if we don't?" challenged a cow.

The bandicoots began to chant, first quiet, then gradually growing louder and louder. "Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!"

While chanting, they swarmed around the cow. The cow became uneasy, lowing anxiously and trying to shuffle away, only to be surrounded by bandicoots who were pressing closer and closer.

"Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!"

The bandicoots gathered all of their strength. They crawled underneath the cow's hooves and pushed up.

"SACRIFICE! SACRIFCE!"

The cow was hoisted into the air. She let out a loud moo.

No other animal moved. They were frozen with shock. Except for the old donkey, who got himself a bucket of popcorn to enjoy the show.

 **"SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE! SACRIFICE!"**

Out of nowhere a volcano appeared.

Bob the bandicoot cleared his throat. When he spoke it was in a Cockney accent. "This cow has shown disrespect to me, and therefore disrespect to the Almighty Peewee. She must be sacrificed to the Almighty Peewee for her crimes."

"Jeez and we thought those executions were bad," the old mare said.

"Sacrifice!" the bandicoots cheered and throw the cow into the volcano.

The volcano disappeared.

"Zis farm will now be known az Bandicoot Farm," Bob said in a French accent.

"PICK A VOICE AND STICK WITH IT!" yelled the donkey, who was promptly sacrificed.

He was going to die soon anyway.

"Okay bye have fun," Me said and left.

"We will now worship the Almighty Peewee, mate" declared Bob, speaking in an Australian accent, though nobody could tell and had to be informed of that later on.

The bandicoots began to chant. "PEEWEE! PEEWEE! PEEEEEEEEEEE-"

A sheep urinated onto Bob.

"WAT," Bob said without an accent, "DID YOU JUST URINATE ON ME?!"

"Well you said pee," the sheep said defensively.

The sheep was then sacrificed.

"Chant with us," Bob ordered the other animals.

"PEEWEE! PEEWEE! PEEWEE!"

The chanting continued for several days.

All the animals died of starvation.

Thus is the end of Bandicoot Farm.


End file.
